Today I received this email from our student activities coordinator:
Dr. Feely O'Feelerson needs your assistance to help with an ultrasound course next week.
Student volunteers will be paid $40 for their time. The course will be from 11:00 am - 12.30 pm next Wednesday, June 25th.
This will involve having abdomen, chest, necks and groins ultrasounded.
Please contact by email or telephone Dr. O'Feelerson asap.
excuse me? you're asking poor medical students to be volunteers for chest and groin ultrasounds performed by beginners? That just is not right, Dr, O'Feelerson. I never let anyone ultrasound my groin on the first date... let alone bumbling inexperienced strangers. I have a personal policy against getting myself into situations where multiple strangers may or may not molest me.
Apparently there were plenty of people in my school who don't have the same qualms: 13 minutes after the first email was sent out, we received this one:
Due to your willingness to help with our project, no more volunteers are needed at this time. Many thanks for your prompt response!
The fact that that many people were willing to be violated by amateur ultrasounders for only $40 is disturbing to me. But the REAL worst part? the second email was written in Comic Sans. Writing a business email in comic sans is like filling out a job application using crayon. Except worse, because Comic Sans is both unprofessional and really annoying. If you use it, I will judge you. More specifically, I will irrationally think that I know everything about you, and that you suck. Comic Sans is like taking Cathy Comics and mixing them with tube socks, precious moments figurines, and a calender filled with babies dressed up as vegetables. It's that lame. Additionally, it's poorly designed and overused. My blood pressure goes up just thinking about how disgusting it is. Here are some examples of its awfulness:
this one really pierces your eyes with the giant comic sans E in the middle. It then promotes false science. And as a kicker, it has some poor random girl looking out at us and I don't know if she's the one who made "smart choices" or if she's the cautionary example. For all I know, she lost her leg to one of those "deadly blood clots".
Next: this was apparently posted in a university student center. Crackheads like comic sans too.This sign should be in the front yard of every person who loves CS, so that I can more effectively avoid them. The squishy triteness of the quote is a perfect compliment to the lameness of the font.
Finally: Comic Sans for Fairy Decor. gross.