Monday, January 14, 2008

so THAT'S what goes down in Vermont.

last night as I was searching for handkerchiefs online, I accidentally stumbled upon the most marvelous store in the land. It's called The Vermont Country Store, and they market themselves as "Purveyors of the Practical and Hard-To-Find"; I am not sure which category this fits into:But I'm pretty sure that I would have killed for a rabbit fur capelet with matching headband and muff at the age of eight. Also available: flannel footie pajamas for adults, sleeve garters (I have no idea what those are), and an ice grip cane attachment, which would not ever come in handy in TX but I'm sure has real value in Vermont. The women's warm weather clothing consists entirely of jumpers, muumuus, and patio dresses. They sell women's turbans for when you don't have time to fuss with your hair-do, and multiple products that have been resurrected for exclusive sale in their store; "Gee, your hair smells terrific!" brand shampoo, Lux Soap (very popular with movie stars from 1930-1950), and Tangee lipstick, which is supposed to change to automatically fit your complexion, but which ends up as a garish hot pink on nearly everyone.
But what really set this store apart from the other old-time general stores was the Health Step, a little foot rest to put in front of the potty when you're having a BM. This is supposed to approximate the natural squatting position of our ancestors and thus prevent IBS, urinary incontinence, and diverticulitis. and if the footrest doesn't do the trick, they also sell these:
it's one-stop shopping, folks.

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