Life has been hectic. I started residency on July 1. Since then I've worked about 120 hours (I mean... of course I'm only working 80 hours per week! I'm totally within my limits!) Yesterday I found myself in bed at 10 pm with no recollection of how I got myself there. I am just really, really busy, and really, really tired. And despite being at work pretty much all the time, I still don't feel like I'm doing enough. I know for a fact that I'm forgetting things at work and not providing the best care for each and every patient. but when I'm trying to manage 21 patients and I've got to see them and write notes and order labs and do all of the bullshit paperwork and return pages and console patients who didn't get operations as soon as we told them they would, AND occasionally going into the OR to actually operate, It's hard to even remember which patient is which, let alone providing them with first quality care. So I leave most days with the nagging feeling of not having done everything. And I get home to Ethan and it's all I can do to stay awake long enough to have a conversation or eat dinner with him. Ethan has started driving me to work on call days so that I don't have to drive myself home after being up for 31+ hours straight (gotta love a husband who is willing to drive his wife to work at 4:30 in the morning).
I really hope this starts feeling easier soon.